It’s the new year, and we all know what that means. You’re deep in a well of post-Christmas shame and it’s time to turn over a new leaf. To be the best version of you. Of course, only about 8% of people actually succeed with their new years resolution so perhaps you’ll have to settle for being a sub-par version of you instead.

The obvious reason for such dismally low success rates is that everyone picks from the same pool of resolutions: quit smoking, lose weight, drink less, save some money, or learn Mandarin.

The inherent problem with such resolutions is that the conscious mind is short sighted and, no matter how good your intentions, you’ll probably betray your long term goals in favour of short term satisfaction. That’s just science I’m afraid.

So instead of setting yourself up for failure – for broken promises and dead dreams – pick a new years resolution you can actually keep.

My resolution is to not discuss the weather with anyone unless it’s an emergency, like the sky is on fire, or I am required to by law (which would be never). Any other attempt to engage with me in conversation about the weather with phrases like, “Gosh, it’s cold isn’t it?” or, “Very wet out today…” will be deftly moved aside.

An example of one of the rare occasions when I might talk about the weather:

Instead, I shall offer up hot chat topics such as “What’s the best thing to have for breakfast?” and, “If you could fill a swimming pool with something other than water, what would it be?” or perhaps even, “Favourite catapult – trebuchet or mangonel?”

Aim low, and you’ll always occasionally succeed. Plus, you might even meet a fellow catapult enthusiast.

What are your New Year’s resolutions? Comment on the Facebook post.